7.5

The Crunchwrap Sliders

I'm going to do things a little differently with these reviews since they're kind of a special series, and also because this is my website so I call the shots around here. Not you. Understand? I ate the menu. I wrote the reviews. I roll the nickels. The game is mine. Haha ;)

So here's how it works, each of the three new Crunchwrap Sliders will receive a rating in the following 5 categories: Taste, Ingenuity, Use of Fritos, Mouth Feel, and most importantly Sleekness. If you disagree with my selection of categories, take a second to think about whose name it is in the URL; lmao.

Here we go!

BLT

The BLT. Bacon, Lettuce, Tomato is what that stands for, and it also happens to be the main ingredients of this timeless sandwich. It's a daring combination that often finds itself desperately treading the line between "not enough flavor" and "too many tomatoes", which is why I was nervous going into this one. Nevertheless, The Blessed Taco Bell has, yet again, surprised me. They solved the problem by tossing a crucial Avocado Ranch sauce into mix. Now throw in a handful of Fritos and you've got yourself a stew.

However, while The Fritos did do wonders adding a necessary crunch, I had a hard time getting comfortable with the mixture of textures. I mean, they did what they could to turn a generally mediocre sandwich into a real WOW item, but there's just no avoiding the elephant in the room that is a bland pile of lettuce. Which brings me to the topic that everyone is dying to hear about: Sleekness. Let me tell you, I've seen my share of sleek things in this life, but nothing, nothing, even holds a candle to the sleekness exhibited in the BLT Crunchwrap.

Taste: 7, Ingenuity: 10, Use of Fritos: 8, Mouth Feel: 5, Sleekness: 10. 8 total.

Spicy Chicken

What do you get when you mix marinated all-white chicken, creamy chipotle sauce, a sprinkling of Fritos' trademark corn chips, and then wrap it up in a grilled flour tortilla? Please. Tell me what you think you get when you do that. What was that? Did I hear, "A Spicy Chicken Crunchwrap Slider" trickle out of your mouth? WRONG. What you get is an awakening experience of mind and body that can only be described as "pretty chill". And I mean I guess you also technically get a Spicy Chicken Crunchwrap Slider, but don't let that get to your head. Remember: I am Taco Ben. Not you. It's me.

Although it wasn't exactly a huge "risk" item like the BLT, it was still a creative use of ingredients, and it continued to awe by making a wonderful first impression with my tongue and cheeks, both of which had a delighted time chomping this item. But the real question here is of course, "How sleek is it?" The answer: So sleek.

Taste: 8, Ingenuity: 6, Use of Fritos: 8, Mouth Feel: 8, Sleekness: 10. 8 total.

Beefy Cheddar

Ahhhh, The Beefy Cheddar. The "crowd favorite" as it seems to be. However, once more, Taco Ben is going to go against the popular current and speak his own mind. And at the end of the day, I'm the one who's right. What you think doesn't matter. My opinion is the objective end all. Don't forget it.

I've gotta say, I was a little under-impressed by this one. Don't get me wrong, I definitely enjoyed it, and it tastes great, but it's just so booorrrrriinnnngggg. You know? It's just so bbbbbboooorrrriiiinnngggg, haha. It seems like it's hardly a change from any other traditional Taco Bell item, especially something like the famous Beefy Crunch Burrito. I suppose if you're a bit more conservative when it comes to Taco Bell, or if you're just hysterically trying to relive the glory days back when the Beefy Crunch Burrito was actually on the menu, then this might be the choice for you. It does, however, have one extremely redeeming quality: this thing almost knocked me out of my chair with how fabulously sleek it was. I mean, my goodness, "That's Sleek!"

Taste: 8, Ingenuity: 3, Use of Fritos: 5, Mouth Feel: 7, Sleekness: 10. 6.6 total.

7.5

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