Mountain Dew Baja Blast

Baja Blast is a drink sensation. It's a staple, an elusive neon-seafoam nectar sent from heaven itself.

I'm going to be real with you and say that while I am not drinking it right now, this succulent slurry has spelunked down my gullet many times in the past. I know this swig on a profound level; friends have come and gone, but the old Baja Blend has been here for me through ups and downs. Drinking it is, honestly, like putting one of my friend's fingers in my mouth.

Where do I even begin? I could compare thee, Blast my dearest, to kayaking through a citrus archipelago, or to diving into a vast green ocean and swimming deep deep deep only to find the love of your life in mermaid form swimming through the bubbles of a deep sea vent. You swim a little closer, only to realize that your lover is actually made out of limes.

Each sip is a revelation, a little miracle. The swirling, sparkling fluid digs through my enamel and into my soul. It pops, it hops, and let me tell you, it never stops. Sometimes I'll swish this stuff around and spit it out just so I can drink it again. I wish I would've stocked up on more of this beverage when it was available in bottles; sometimes I'll fill the tub up to my nose with it and just lay in there. No matter how many of my friends call, I don't pick up. I'm Baja Bathing.

Sometimes I like to pour it out into the palm of my hand and let it pool a little on the surface of my baby soft skin. In the reflection I can see myself, or more accurately, who I'd like to be. I barely identify as myself anymore. I'm a Baja Boy through and through. I wish I could become this liquid.

I honestly feel like this review is more about me than Baja Blast. We all bring something to the table when we give this a sip. It truly shows us who we are.

I'd give me an 8.2, and Baja Blast a 10.


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